What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

What do you mean son?

Did another parent ever tell you something about your child that you didn’t know?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Do you know what she said mum?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

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Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

True - how I loved my mum!

Can it be true that people know your name, not your story, they’ve heard what you’ve done, but not what you’ve been through, so take their opinions of you with a grain of salt?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

What! how could you do that?

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“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Is it possible for the U.S. government to get rid of the constitution for national safety?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?